He really was just a man...

but he has left a legacy; this legacy is made up of many men with quite a few years of sobriety, 3 of them in that picture above, who have sponsored already several men, those men are sponsoring men and those men will be sponsoring other men, ad-infinitum.

It is taking me a while to write this, I sit and write, weep a little, stop and then come back again and write more. Al passed away on Sunday June 7, 2009. He was sober for 31 years. He was my husband's sponsor for 20 of those years and knew him prior to Steve going into AA. He was a customer of my husband's; I was not there, but have heard bits and pieces of their story; the short part of the long story is that my husband wanted what he had and was curious as to how he could not drink, be happy and work with "pricks" like him every day.

As time went on, Steve was attracted to Al's way of living and finally made a decision to meet Al at 106 Lincoln. They had just missed each other; Steve was late and Al thought, just like most newcomers, Steve was a no-show and went on home. That was April 16, 1989, the beginning of my husband's journey into Alcoholics Anonymous with Al. Steve kept coming back.

When I got into AA, on Feb. 13, 1998, I was a type of newcomer that did not really care for the "old-timers"; I thought things needed to be changed and I had arrived. I missed out on so much in my first 18 months due to not listening to the "old-timers". With an attitude like that it was just a matter of time before I picked up that first drink. I got to go out a couple of times, my sobriety date was changed to November 8, 1998.

I had first met Al at a Friday night Rosewood meeting when it was very small just prior to my first relapse. David M. who is in that picture above was there as well. I was with my then husband, Bob, and all we did was make fun of them when we left. I had no idea on that night that my life was going to be changed forever and that bald-headed man was going to be a big part of the reason for that change.

Al never sponsored me, but of course, his sponsorship with Steve "sponsored" me. When I met Steve, my "program" was already beginning to change for the better; I had left that then husband and had a sponsor that put me into action. I went to Oildale with Angie one morning, and saw that bald-headed man again in the corner. I remember walking past him and my future husband, not knowing at the time of course, and smiled and said hello to both of them, as I went to go get a cup of coffee. I really loved that place, but only went back on a few Friday nights. Long story short, Steve and I met through Shannon, Angie and of course Patty who was the match-maker!

I learned so much from my husband, not that he is the reason I am sober and somewhat sane today, but Al's words and Al's suggestions on Steve working the steps and applying them in his life are a really big part of it. Al taught Steve to be of service and to go when the hand of AA reaches out anywhere. Steve and I were taxi's in the beginning of our relationship to newcomers. There were many times when the old Jani would come out and not want to "play AA" anymore. I began to be selfish and self-centered and just wanted to ride to meetings with him and I ONLY, well it just did not happen. I have had many lessons in not being selfish and taking others to meetings; which has been the best thing for me and for our relationship. At those moments of course I really did not see the lessons. I began my journey of being of service from my husband via Al Hendricks.

Al would come up to me at a meeting and point to a woman in the corner and TELL me to go over there to talk to her and give her my number. I did that a few times with him having to tell me; there were some days when I saw the newcomer and would hide, I just did not want to do that at that moment and he would find me; I would go and I have become a better woman today because of doing that. Now, when I walk into meetings I go around the room and find the newcomer and give them a hug and let them know it is ok. At 106 Lincoln, I have to get my hugs all around the room. I am able to do that today because Al nudged me along lovingly. He loved me enough to get me out of myself.

When Al was told that we were getting married he asked Steve if he could show me that list of character defects that Steve had been working on pertaining to relationships. Steve was ok with that. Al loved me enough to let me know exactly who Steve is, actually who Steve can be when he is not allowing his God to run the show. Just because we get sober does not mean that we become angels and get perfect. Jani and Steve are Jani and Steve with or without the drink. We are the best Jani and Steve we can be with the Steps and our sponsors in our life today.

There are so many men out in Bakersfield and from what I understand other areas of AA that have been touched by that bald-headed man. My husband used to refer to him as the "man in the corner with the horse-shoe haircut".

He will be missed, but his legacy will always be there as long as we do not forget what we were taught. I love you Al; Keep coming back!